Here it is, the day I turn 35… how I’ve dreaded this day – being in my mid 30s and that much closer to 40 – but if I’m honest it doesn’t feel any different to 34, or any other age in my adult life so far. I still behave like an 18 year old at times and certainly don’t feel like I’m 35, but what does 35 feel like?! All I know is 35 seemed so far away when we started this journey, we were 28 and 29 then, and I imagined that we’d have 2, if not 3, children by now. Funny how life works out.
I was hoping that I’d be writing this with news that I was pregnant, but no, a BFN for my birthday. Obviously any BFP is going to be special but this one would have been extra special because my estimated due date would have been the third anniversary of my Dad’s passing. A baby born then would have given a new, positive focus to that day, especially if it was a boy…
As with everything on this journey, you just cannot plan things to your own timescale. We see Dr “James” again this Thursday so it will be interesting to hear what he has to say about things now. Originally the plan was to go for IVF if we weren’t pregnant by May, but that was based on not having been pregnant at all.
Hopefully on my 36th birthday I’ll be trying to update my blog whilst holding our baby in my arms, I couldn’t think of a better present.