I’ve seen a few blog posts like this in recent months so thought I’d write my own…
Dear 16 year old me
I hope you’re not winding Mum and Dad up too much. When they tell you something it’s for your own good. You may be approaching adulthood but I can assure you, you really DON’T know everything, and being the elder sibling doesn’t give you the right to boss your brother about… well maybe just a little bit 😉
I wish I could write and tell you that life will be full of sunshine and roses forevermore, but I’m afraid I can’t. You think life right now is awful, it’s not. You have a great life, but what you’re experiencing is just teenage drama that will soon pass as you make the final transition between being a child and becoming an adult.
There’s no point saying work hard in your GCSEs because they’re done now, but let’s face it, you could have tried harder. Despite what you’re thinking about leaving school and finding a job, Mum and Dad are right, stay in school. You will enjoy your time at Sixth form and then college, and you pass your courses with flying colours.
Stop worrying that you haven’t got a boyfriend yet, there’s plenty of time for that. Just enjoy your freedom and your youth; you’ll kiss a lot of “frogs” along the way but I promise you’ll meet your “Prince”, and no it’s not who you’re hoping it’ll be. Lucky really as from what I see on Facebook (I know you don’t know about Facebook, but trust me you’ll like it) he is very different as an adult to the boy you lust after right now. Remember that Ginger haired boy from the year above you at school, who you say hello to in the corridor? Well, you’ll be saying a lot more than hello to him in future. About another 12 years and you’ll become his wife. I know, he’s not your “type” but trust me, you’re well suited, and he’ll become your best friend and your rock.
I know you think you have to wear baggy clothes because you’re fat but truth is you’re not. You’re really slim but with big boobs! Another 20 years and you’ll be wishing you still had that figure. Yes, I did say 20 years. You’re 36 now, I know, old eh! In truth it’s not old at all. Don’t be so eager to grow up, life rolls away very fast the older you get.
Don’t beat yourself up for not knowing what you want to do with your life, you still don’t really, but you’re lucky in the jobs you have and some you’ll really love. Although HR isn’t where your heart lies, you will grow to regret not doing your CIPD training, so when the opportunity arises to do it, just do it! It’ll be something to fall back on when you’re made redundant, twice. Jobs aren’t for life anymore.
When the time comes to think about using birth control, DO NOT go on the Pill. It will mess with your cycles for years after coming off it, and cause a whole range of problems, including struggling with your weight. You always said you’d like to have kids, and you’d have them by 23, well I’m saddened to say that’s not the case. You won’t start trying for a family until 5 years after that, and when you do try and it doesn’t come easy, don’t be fobbed off by the Drs; keep pushing for tests and hopefully you’ll get to avoid the pain caused by multiple miscarriages (sadly, you have 4). I know how terrifying that is to hear, but you’ll get through it. When you find out you’re pregnant for the fifth time beg for an early scan. Don’t believe just because the pregnancy’s progressing that everything’s alright, it won’t be. You have no symptoms of it but you have an ectopic pregnancy and require emergency surgery. Again, you’ll get through it but it changes you forever, and you’re now faced with one of the biggest decisions of your life – to carry on trying for your own baby, or give up. I’m not going to influence you here because I’m not 100% sure what to do for the best.
Spend more time with your family, and tell them you love them. It pains me to tell you this, but we said goodbye to Dad a few years ago. I know how much you’ll miss him every day, and it’ll hurt to think about him, but remember all the good times you shared. Put behind you the hurt and anger of his final days, it’ll only make your life miserable if you hold on to that memory.
I can’t deny 2010 to 2013 brings a great deal of pain that will change you forever, but try your hardest not to dwell on it. I know life isn’t how you imagined it, but know there is a lot of happiness in your life too, and you will get through the hard times with the help of your wonderful family and friends. Oh and your 2 cats. That’s right, you, the one who doesn’t like cats now has 2 and they bring a lot of joy into your home.
Remember, no matter what life throws at you, keep smiling. You can’t have a rainbow without rain.
Love Tee (age 36) xxx