Here it is, the day I turn 35… how I’ve dreaded this day – being in my mid 30s and that much closer to 40 – but if I’m honest it doesn’t feel any different to 34, or any other age in my adult life so far. I still behave like an 18 year old at times and certainly don’t feel like I’m 35, but what does 35 feel like?! All I know is 35 seemed so far away when we started this journey, we were 28 and 29 then, and I imagined that we’d have 2, if not 3, children by now. Funny how life works out.
I was hoping that I’d be writing this with news that I was pregnant, but no, a BFN for my birthday. Obviously any BFP is going to be special but this one would have been extra special because my estimated due date would have been the third anniversary of my Dad’s passing. A baby born then would have given a new, positive focus to that day, especially if it was a boy…
As with everything on this journey, you just cannot plan things to your own timescale. We see Dr “James” again this Thursday so it will be interesting to hear what he has to say about things now. Originally the plan was to go for IVF if we weren’t pregnant by May, but that was based on not having been pregnant at all.
Hopefully on my 36th birthday I’ll be trying to update my blog whilst holding our baby in my arms, I couldn’t think of a better present.
ThreeBecomeFour says
Sending a big Happy Birthday to you. I remember turning 35 and feeling many of the same emotions you are feeling today on my birthday. I think I'd had 7 miscarriages by that point and thought I would never become a parent. I then embraced the dreaded 40 (still childless at that time) and was 41 when we adopted Katie after 15 years of trying to start our family. My advice to you is don't worry about your age and go and enjoy your birthday. Make it a real celebration of everything you have in your life. Good luck with your appointment on Thursday and I very much hope that your wish for your 36th birthday is granted. Things have a way of working out in the way that they are supposed to. Best wishes and lots of luck for the future.
Yummy Mummy in Waiting says
Thank you so much for your kind message and good wishes. I shall definitely be celebrating my birthday and everything I have in my life 🙂