Moving Forward

I know, I know it’s been an absolute age since I last updated my blog *slaps wrists* but I’m going to rectify that now.

As you’ll know, after the ectopic last year we were referred to the Recurrent Miscarriage Clinic for numerous blood tests, which were thankfully all fine.  However, fine means that we have no explanation for the losses and that means they can’t and won’t do anymore to help us.  So we were officially discharged from the clinic in March.  That said, if I do fall pregnant then it still stands that I am to contact them and the EPU to arrange for early scans, but they still won’t be able to prevent a miscarriage or ectopic.

Although we both expected the response we got from the clinic, because let’s face it, it’s the response we’ve had from all sides – unexplained means no help – we both felt quite deflated and not sure what to do next.  We could go on trying forever without success or we could fall pregnant tomorrow and then potentially face the pain of miscarriage or even another ectopic again.  Or we could be lucky that seventh time and carry to term without any problems.  The trouble is, we just don’t know.  There’s no guarantee, and I know there’s no guarantee for anybody whether or not they’ve previously experienced a loss or not, but in this situation you have to draw the line somewhere.  Neither of us want to give up on having a baby naturally, but we have to accept that, for now at least, it’s not going to happen for us.

We previously discussed adoption and even attended an adoption evening, and following that last appointment at the recurrent miscarriage clinic things came to a head and we did some soul searching.  We’ve decided adoption is definitely the right step for us.  I know some will say if we’re not giving up on having a baby naturally then we shouldn’t go for adoption, but I think unless they’ve been in exactly the same situation as us then they shouldn’t judge!  If we had a reason for our struggle and the losses then we both could move away from that and 100% close off our hearts and minds to having a biological child, but that’s not the situation for us.  However, we won’t be trying to conceive for the foreseeable future, and who knows in time we may say we’ll never try to conceive again.

We so desperately long for a family of our own and we know that adoption is the right way for us to have that now.  We’ve done a lot of talking, and I mean a lot, and thinking and reading and adoption is THE best for us.  We actually sent off our registration of interest forms, which have been acknowledged and a Social Worker will be contacting us to arrange a home visit.  So, I guess, watch this space….