It’s that time of year again, to raise awareness of Infertility. There’s been lots of talk of it on Twitter over the weekend. Twitter friends going through the same, asking if I will “out” myself. The answer in short is no. Close friends and family (and of course you guys) are aware of what we’ve been through and are still going through, but I don’t feel anybody else needs to know our situation.
Sharing that kind of information to our wider circle of friends will bring questions. Questions that we’re not prepared to answer. Of course, if someone asks me straight out then I’ll tell them the truth, but in general everybody doesn’t need to know. Some might say by not sharing I’m running away from the situation, or am ashamed, but the way I see it is it’s no different to if a couple is having marital or financial problems; nobody would expect them to share that kind of information to a wider audience.
When I wrote my blog post for NIAW last year, which can be read here, I thought we’d have come out the other side by now. I really didn’t imagine I’d still be sitting here childless. I imagined I’d have a baby or a bump by now, and truth is if my last (fifth) pregnancy hadn’t been ectopic then I’d be about 6 months now. So maybe, had that pregnancy not gone wrong, I’d have been writing this from a slightly different perspective. Maybe, being almost on the other side of Infertility, I’d have been willing to “out” myself. I don’t know. All I do know, is that right now, the time isn’t right.
Craftea Chic says
I’ve been thinking a similar thing – not having much of an anonymous online persona its not a conversation I’ve had with any social media contacts, but something I’ve thought about as the loneliness of going thru IVF hits me. Sometimes it feels like it would be easier if everyone knew as then I wouldn’t have to dodge questions and pretend to be feeling great when I’m not, but on the other hand if they knew it would open us up to more questions and those oh so ‘helpful’ comments.
I hope you get your happy ending soon xo
Tee says
Thank you for your comment. I think it’s a very personal decision to share that kind of information, and when or where you share it too. I know Twitter friends who’ve “come out” have so far only had positive experiences, but I’m still not ready to “reveal all”. As you say it opens up more questions and the “helpful” comments which are anything but!
I understand the loneliness, even with an online support community it can still be difficult. However, it does provide a place to vent with people who do understand. I can highly recommend joining a community like BabyCentre (they have an IVF board amongst many others) of which I’ve been a member for several years now; or creating a private Twitter account and linking up with the ladies (and gents) there.
I hope you also get your happy ending soon x