Nearly 2 weeks ago we had our follow-up recurrent miscarriage appointment. Whilst we were in the waiting room I was trying to work out which Dr we’d see based on how the patients were being called. I was pretty sure we’d see the Consultant, then another Dr appeared from nowhere and called my name. She was the Registrar I saw in EPU with the ectopic. I was slightly disappointed that we wouldn’t be seeing Mr Atalla, but also kind of glad that we were being seen by somebody who was aware of my history.
Anyway, the good news is that all my blood tests are clear, and the Karyotyping for both of us shows all chromosomes are present and correct. So good but frustrating as we still don’t have a definite reason for the miscarriages. However, despite tests/scans being clear I do show some signs of insulin resistance/pcos (long cycles, easily gained weight that’s hard to shift, and spots over chin and jawline) which is known to cause early miscarriages so they’ve given me Metformin which should help me continue losing weight and has been shown to help women with pcos stay pregnant. I’ll take that from now through to early pregnancy, and I’ll be given Cyclogest again to use from BFP. As I don’t have a blood clotting issue I won’t be given any injections but have been told it won’t hurt to take baby aspirin from BFP. As soon as I get a BFP, because of the risk of another ectopic, she’s told me to self refer to the EPU to arrange a scan, and to let the clinic know. She wasn’t impressed the gynae secretary had told me to just wait for my appointment in mid-September, and reiterated I must straightaway call EPU, then the clinic, and GP in that order!
Mr R asked about IVF but she said, and I agree, that we’re not candidates for it and to be honest I don’t want to put my body through that. It’s been through enough these past 3 years. She did offer me Clomid again, but for now I don’t want that either.
The only thing we haven’t tested is NK cells but having discussed it and researched it myself I’m not sure I want to be poked and prodded for an expensive test which is pretty much only giving an answer for that one cycle. I may change my mind in the future but I’m sick of all the tests, the anxiousness they bring, and the numerous people looking at my bits!
So now I feel like we’re between a rock and a hard place. Do we continue trying naturally and see if the Metformin makes a difference, or do we say enough is enough and look to push forward with adoption. I just don’t know what to do for the best. Mr R is happy to go either way; he’s at peace with going forward for adoption. As he says he just wants a child to love and care for, as do I, but am I ready to give up on my body. Up until our recurrent miscarriage appointment I felt settled, but now, as we’re still without answers, and there’s that possibility it could happen for us I’m thinking just try again. How long do we try for though? How many more losses do we have to endure, just hoping that the next one will be our one? Confused? So am I!
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