As the months (and years) pass it gets harder. Harder to keep trying, harder to keep believing, after all if we were meant to be parents we would be by now, surely. Harder to maintain a normal relationship, sure everything starts off well and fun, but as time goes on it’s hard to keep from becoming two people trying to make a baby instead of a loving, married couple doing what comes naturally; we both know that some days when you’re both so tired dtd wouldn’t matter, but not when your body and your CBFM is telling you it’s now or never… I don’t think there’s a day that passes that I don’t think about making a baby, or picturing our life with our children or seeing their faces unwrapping their presents on Christmas Day… With every month that passes it hurts, don’t get me wrong, I’m lucky. Lucky to have my health, my husband, my family, and friends; lucky to have a job and a home, but it doesn’t stop the focus on that one thing I want so badly, a family of my own.
After the miscarriage I rejoined Baby Centre and came across a wonderful board called Trying to be a Mum, the unique thing about that board is all the ladies are trying for their first baby so we all know how each other feels. One of our mottos is that with each month that passes it brings us a month closer to our take home baby.
We started trying as soon as we could after the miscarriage, and as strange as it may seem I was full of positivity, now we knew we could get pregnant so it WILL happen again. 3 months later we got a BFP but unfortunately it turned out to be a chemical pregnancy. 2 weeks later we had our first appointment with the hospital and saw the Fertility Nurse. She was lovely and we left our appointment positive that we would become parents soon. Our next appointment would be with the consultant which turned out not to be until November. In the meantime I went for day 2-4 bloods, an ultrasound and transvaginal scan and my husband went for a Semen Analysis – the results of all were fine and apparently I have lots of eggs which was good to hear as I’m rapidly approaching that “magic” age of 35 when fertility is supposed to drop…
When we met with the Consultant he too was positive that we’d have our baby and we worked out an “action plan” with him. 3 rounds of Clomid (50mg) on cycle days 2-6, we know I ovulate so this is to hopefully bring ovulation forward and shorten my cycle to 28 days (I’m still around 35 days), I’m to go for 7dpo (day 21) bloods on my first Clomid cycle and then we’ll return to see the Consultant in January. I’m also to have an HSG (type of scan where they insert a catheter into the cervix and then put dye in to see if it flows freely through the fallopian tubes etc. Based on the results the Consultant said he’d look to up the dosage of Clomid to 100mg for 3 rounds, and if we still aren’t pregnant by the end of those 3 rounds we’ll be referred for IVF. Although the thought of waiting 6 cycles (I can’t say 6 months as my cycles are longer) before an IVF referral seems like torture, I’m happy that we’re getting help and we’ve got our action plan. Of course we’re hoping the Clomid works first time 🙂