Apologies in advance for sharing tmi as usual, but hey if nobody talks about these things then how are others going through the same going to know what’s “normal” or not…
I’m daring to believe that this last miscarriage is now actually over, nearly 5 weeks after it started. Proper bleeding lasted about a week and since then it’s been brown blood and so very light, but still enough to require a panty liner and make me feel “icky”, but nothing since Tuesday afternoon! It’s been getting me down as I just didn’t know how much longer it could go on for, and I just want to get my cycle back, well what passes for a cycle, so we can put this last loss behind us and move on.
Mr R told me I should see the Dr if I was worried, but instead I turned to “Dr Google” for answers. I haven’t wanted to make a Drs appointment or call for my scan and blood results because that would have meant taking my head out of the sand and facing up to the fact that all may not be well. Though surely if the results weren’t good I’d have been summoned to the Drs by now?? However, now the bleeding’s stopped I’m feeling a little better, in need of answers and looking forward to trying again. I called the Drs, to be greeted by an automated message telling me to call back for results after 10.30am, so that means waiting ’til I get home this evening as I can’t call from work and I know they never answer the phones at lunchtime pah! I need to chase up on my referral for repeat miscarriages too. I’m also debating whether I try to bring our next Fertility Clinic appointment forward to next month rather than waiting for mid May – Dr “James” gives me so much hope each time we’ve seen him; I know I could explain this last pregnancy and loss to him and he’d be sympathetic, honest, full of positivity for us, and draw up a new action plan – after all we know we can GET pregnant, it’s STAYING pregnant that’s the problem now….
So, my head is out of the sand and starting to whirr away with all it’s usual TTC thoughts and plans. Time to start looking forward again, sort my diet (it’s been a definite see food diet these past few weeks and I know I’ve gained lbs) and lack of exercise out, and get back to feeling good about myself. If I’m being totally honest, I also need to work on making things right again between Mr R and I because I know I’ve been very distant towards him these past weeks and shown him more spite than affection, I’ve also been a real lazy cow and barely done more than cook dinner and load/unload the dishwasher at home whilst he’s working so hard on the house and garden.
Anyway, here’s to closing this chapter and starting a new one…
**Update** I managed a sneaky call to the Drs from the toilets and got my results, both blood test and scan were normal, yay!
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